there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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