He asked to "fluff my boner.."
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
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