Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
