Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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