areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
