there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
