I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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