i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
