So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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