In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
