It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
