I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
