weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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