He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
