Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
