im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
