so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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