if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize