so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
