just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
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Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
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