im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
