the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
smell my finger.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
