So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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