At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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