You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
