I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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