You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Who died my cat blue again?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
