New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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