I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
