i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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