I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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