Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
