And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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