Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
