I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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