i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
