Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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