I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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