Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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