Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The power of my boobs compel you
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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