I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
