I didn't shave. On purpose
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
