I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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