Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
