If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Randomize
