the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
