I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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