I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
