and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Bring me that man meat
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
