Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
