CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
