Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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