I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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