she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
