I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
