i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
