I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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