census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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