The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
