My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she pinky promised me she was 18
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
