Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
