WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize