scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
