Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
