You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
