I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
