sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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